BOOM! Goes The Indian Food

Indian food is both delicious and dangerous.

Every driver's nightmare is spillage. It's not much of a problem for the pizza slingers but for the multi-restaurant driver who handles every thing from Chinese to Jamaican to the dreaded Indian, it is a constant terror.

Indian food with its small army of sauces is a minefield of delivery danger.

For the first time ever, my Indian restaurant handed me food in a brown paper bag. The usual opaque plastic allows me to eyeball the plethora of tiny containers and quickly spy potential problems. Mr. brown bag, already stapled tightly shut, mocked me like a teenager's friday night shit bomb.

I had no choice but to pack it as tightly as possible and pray the grinning cooks had sealed all the containers.

Arriving at the customer's hotel room, I opened my carry bag and carefully lifted the little brown bag. What I could not see was the small puddle of wetness from a slow leaking cup of soup which was corroding the bottom.

BOOM!

The bottom of the bag blew apart in a pungent explosion of curry and peanuts.

I had no choice but to call dispatch and tell the boss I was headed back to the tandoori tabernacle for a second helping of nan and bean curd. And by God, this time it better be in a fucking plastic bag.